Hey bub: Old Man Logan puts his claws away

A new western frontier paints across the landscape embodying the harsh political/criminal climate of a post-apocalyptic world. The heroes lost and the villains won. The United States is politically divided into large gang turfs run by super-inhuman monsters; in a turf ran by the once hero The Incredible Hulk a cantankerous old man refuses to sell his children’s toys in order to pay for the rent.

Wolverine has been disgraced and in his humiliation he has refused to raise a hand and claw against his enemies. Now a farmer with a wife and kids he is struggling to find the money to pay the months rent. An ugly redneck son of Bruce Banner is his landlord and has agreed to give Wolverine a month to pay back his rent along with the next one.

Without any options an old-blind Clint Barton a.k.a. Hawkeye meets Wolverine at his house asking for him to be his guide on a trip across the Country to deliver a mysterious package. This is the beginning of Mark Millar’s “Old Man Logan.”

“Old Man Logan” in my mind is Millar taking his Top Cow series “Wanted” and adapting it to the Marvel Universe with a dash of Clint Eastwood’s “Unforgiven.”

Wolverine goes by Logan now, and tends to correct people when they call him anything else. In agreeing to travel across the U.S. with Hawkeye, Logan has done so at the promise he will be paid $500, enough to pay both months rents.

Hawkeye is blind but hasn’t lost his fight and doesn’t need the pacifistic Logan as a bodyguard; rather, he needs him to read the map. Hawkeye is now a drug dealer and is smuggling an unknown package that could possibly be the super soldier serum.

Traveling across the U.S. the two encounter a number of interesting situations, one in which it is revealed that Hawkeye’s grown daughter, who is Peter Parker’s a.k.a. Spider-Man granddaughter has been captured by the new Kingpin. The new Kingpin who looks less like Wilson Fisk and more like Luke Cage has decided to put Hawkeye’s daughter into a gladiatorial game in which she will surely die.

Mistaking his daughter as a hero Hawkeye and Logan free the young woman only to have her turn on the duo. Hawkeye’s daughter is no hero; she is a villain who was staging a coup de tat against the Kingpin. Fleeing from the woman the two eventually find themselves underground.

The Mole Man’s mole men have gone berserk and have been demolishing cities all across the country. As Logan and Hawkeye flee from a group of pursuers they drive right into a sinkhole dug by the mole men.
Eventually the two make it out of the hole and into a bar where Logan reveals why he has made the decision to never raise his hand against another person again.

Logan reveals that during his days as an X-men he was tricked by the villain Mysterio too think all his comrades where super villains. In the confusion Logan murdered all the X-men in the X-mansion at the time. Horrified by his crime he decided that he would never commit violence again.

Later the two are driving through another desert where a giant T-Rex bonded with the venom symbiote begins to pursue them. Black Bolt who with a whisper destroys the dinosaur eventually saves the two; afterwards, the two are taken to meet with Emma Frost whom offers to repair their vehicle.

Later traveling onwards Hawkeye is murdered by the Red Skull who is now called the President. Logan finally accepts the fact that he cannot avoid violence and kills the Red Skull.

Finally returning home, Logan discovers the Hulk Gang grew impatient and has murdered his entire family. Now crazed Wolverine takes out all of the Hulks offspring one by one. Finally there stands only one person left and that is Bruce Banner himself.

Banner now appears to possess super strength outside of his transformation into the Hulk. Banner and Logan fight for a while until Banner changes into the Hulk and eats Logan.

Logan re-assembles himself inside the body of the Hulk and tears him apart from the inside out. With no Hulks left besides Banners new infant son he decides to raise the boy as his own.

Well I know the story sounds pretty cool, and well it is pretty cool. However, Millar did make a few revisions to the Marvel Universe. For one he significantly de-powered the Hulk and Black Bolt. The Hulk has his own healing factor as well and the thought of him being ripped apart by Wolverine and not surviving is ludicrous.

As for Black Bolt, the guys voice is capable of smashing the entire planet, a mere whisper from the guy is like exploding an atomic bomb. So when he uses his voice to destroy the Venom t-rex he would have killed Hawkeye and ripped the flesh from Wolverine’s bones.

The story is entertaining and its interesting concept more than makes up for its flaws.

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