Some Bad Movies Based on Good Comics

Ok, ok I know about a few posts back I talked about comic books and comic book movies, I know that maybe returning to the topic this soon may be a little bit hasty. Yet I feel like the topic is unavoidable, and with exception there have been a few mergers of the industry that have really worked out. I however want to focus on the bad ones I want to focus on the AOL/Time Warner’s of movie, comic mergers.

Punisher: Has there ever been a good Punisher movie? I have yet to see a good one, of course I have yet to see Punisher: War Zone. The first Punisher sucked, played by Ivan Drago himself Dolph Lundgren, it was a low budget yarn that didn’t really offer anything of interest. Then there was the second Punisher, the re-make starring Thomas Jane, which was once again awful. The movie was really, really painful, in fact I believe there was a scene where he finds a pirate flag or something and then he ends up making his iconic shirt out of it.

The one thing I can’t seem to understand about this movie franchise is that the Punisher in my mind should be one of the easiest characters from the Marvel Universe to adapt to a film. The Punisher is just a guy; no costume, no secret identity; who kills bad guys and becomes a criminal in the process. What is so hard about that, I don’t understand how that can get screwed up; hire a guy like Martin Scorcese who has experience directing mob films and you are bound to have a good film on your hand.

The Surrogates: Let me first state that I never read the comic but I was drawn to the film because of its connection to comics. I wanted to see the movie because I like sci-fi and it was based off of a sci-fi comic that sounded pretty cool and does not have super heroes. Yet this movie turned out to be immensely disappointing. The movie had very dry acting, seemed slightly unoriginal, and felt like it was made under budget.

Batman & Robin: Ok, this is an obvious one. Batman & Robin essentially takes the city of Gotham City and replaces it with the glitz and glam of Las Vegas. Somehow Neon Lights on a Batmobile didn’t seem too intimidating, of course Joel Schumacher a complete waste of a director with exception of his lovable ‘80s vampire comedy The Lost Boys direted.

Schumacher only cemented the stereotyped assumption that Batman and Robin are gay for each other. A stereotype started by the devilish Frederich Wertham in 1954, and made obvious by the body tight leather suits and over exaggerated codpieces in the film. The most entertaining yet worse part of the movie is when Batman, George Clooney, stares longingly into the codpiece of Robin’s, Chris O’Donnll, new costume.

League of Extraordinary Gentleman: One of the worst adaptations of a comic I have ever seen. The movie had hardly resembled Alan Moore’s fan favorite comic, adding characters that had never appeared and have yet to appear in the comic. The story was changed for the worst. The original story seemed to be better suited for film yet the one provided by Hollywood was even more outlandish and was almost comical.

From Hell: Another Alan Moore comic adaptation, yet far surpasses the other films on the list on quality. From Hell really isn’t a terrible movie, in fact the movie was directed by the Hughes Brothers who directed movies like Menace 2 Society and Dead Presidents. My only real gripe about this film is that it has almost zero resemblance to the comic with the only similarity being that it is about the Jack the Ripper killings in England.

Ghost Rider: Of all the Marvel comics to adapt why adapt Ghost Rider, I mean on paper Ghost Rider seems kind of cool but thinking that a guy riding around on a fiery motorcycle swinging a chain would be cool was sorely mistaken. Also the fact that whoever was in charge of casting Nicholas Cage makes it even worse. Cage looks like he got on the Sylvester Stallone human growth hormone exercise plan. Cage is walking around with bodybuilder abs and is pretending (again) to be more of a bad ass then I would like to believe he is. I may be the only person to have caught this, but by casting Peter Fonda as Satan was a hilariously bad attempt to pit The Easy Rider against The Ghost Rider.

I think I might make this a regular column so check back for more in the future.


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